Tuesday, March 18, 2008

a short trip.

I will be in the land of cacti and desert in approximately 25 hours if all goes as planned. I am in anticipation of sun!
In the meantime I will be cranking out 3 more glorious pages...that is if I can stop procrastinating. At this point, I may just as well go to bed. At least I get a solid "A" for procrastination.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Augustine on Reality T.V.

I think Augustine would still say this about America's obsession with reality T.V. and T.V. in general. This is an excerpt from book three of his Confessions

"I was captivated by theatrical shows. They were full of representations of my own miseries and fuelled my fire. Why is it that a person should wish to experience suffering by watching grievous and tragic events which he himself would not wish to endure? Nevertheless he wants to suffer the pain given by being a spectator of these sufferings, and the pain itself is his pleasure. What is this but amazing folly? For the more anyone is moved by these scenes, the less free he is from similar passions. Only, when he himself suffers, it is called misery; when he feels compassion for others, it is called mercy. But what quality of mercy is it in fictitious and theatrical inventions? A member of the audience is not excited to offer help, but invited only to grieve. The greater his pain, the greater his approval of the actor in these representations. if the human calamities, whether in ancient histories or fictitious myths, are so presented that the theatregoer is not caused pain, he walks out of the theatre disgusted and highly critical. But if he feels pain, he stays riveted in his seat enjoying himself."

On the other hand, yes, TV is the "Great Dissociator" and sometimes I crave it.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Suffering Community

"Friends lets drink 'til our hearts break open
and our hands feel empty though they're full all the time.
It's so nice in here, I'm so glad you're here
can we just stay here all the time walk me home
we'll watch the sun come up
Don't leave me alone, cause I've been left enough..."

This insightful little lyric has brought me much contemplation over the last few days. To Chris Thile and the intrepid band of Punch Brothers I am grateful and awed. If I had a musical ability to respond with a thanks as beautiful as their music I would. But I don't and a simple word of thanks seems futile. I offer is blessings in their journey of suffering and joy. I will drink with you anytime ☺ Those who suffer much have the capacity for much joy, seemingly paradoxical yes, (true?) you decide.

Onto what I really mean to share...

Set to an elegantly solemn tender tune, the lyrics capture an aching for the invitation to suffer with friends. And not just suffer violently by getting trashed together and dissociating from the world (although is called for at times), but moving together to engage a sorrow so deep one cannot and should not bear it alone. As I listen my head conjures images of rest, vulnerability, and love. My hands are always full, I don’t easily allow myself time or space to suffer, I am afraid of asking you to be with me in my suffering. But if you will, how beautiful it will be! You don’t need to say anything, just be present and as we lift our glasses to our own depravity watch the doves of sadness fly away. By dawn the whiskey will be gone and our cups filled with tears. In the morning we’ll leave the gaze of sorrow gone by and empty hands, and turn our eyes to the sunrise. Don’t talk please, rest with me. This has been a tender and sacred time. Yes please, “thank you Jesus can I have another and another oh thank you Lord?” I’m not implying I know this time or space yet, moments yes, totality no.

Breaking closed hearts corporately. I commend those who have the capacity for the intimacy and vulnerability required to actually live out these lyrics and more precisely the contrast of feelings highlighted by the notes. I am thankful to imagine and hope for what transforming healing is possible with others. But really that’s what I’m all about trying to be.

Here’s to hope, longing, love, sorrow, gratitude, joy, desire, rest, delight, with the last word being redemption. May I celebrate with you and if time or space does not permit may you find others to celebrate with on this crazy unpredictable journey of heartbreak and hope.

And that I will drink to. Cheers.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Spike's New Thing

After seeing my friend's dog Koosah do something like this, it didn't take Spike long to catch on.

A million other things

I have been trying to start writing one of many papers for school and end up thinking of almost anything else to do instead. Right now there is about a million other things I'd rather be doing than sitting in front of my computer writing a paper! AGHHHHHH.